Saturday, 29 July 2017

I Don't Know Anymore

When I was a child, I dreamt of life as a teacher. Inspired by kindergarten teachers who first opened my eyes to the world around me, I aimed to be like them, and to inspire more children. Even up till primary school, my cousin and I would pretend to be teachers, taking blank pieces of paper and pretending to prepare and mark worksheets for our students. We had little whiteboards back then, and we would make up names for ourselves, and pretend to teach, mimicking our own teachers. A session like this could last until our parents forced us to go home.

This dream stayed with me for a really long time, and now, I am seriously considering it.

But dreams change, or rather, they accumulate.

When I was 13, I helped my mom organised a birthday party, and I realised how much I enjoyed that.I realised that I enjoy helping people plan the party of their dreams. I amused myself by imagining all sorts of events I could help plan, and I fell in love with the idea.

But in the past, all those were just dreams, things that I could only have fantasies about. My main concern back then was to study hard and achieve the best results I can, before making my choice.

That was then.

Now, reality strikes. I am almost at the point where I can finally make my decision. But it really isn't as great as it seems.

You see, as a Secondary 4 student, you get to think about where you want to go after O Levels. Do you want to pursue your A Levels? Or your diploma.

The point is, whatever decision you make, it is pretty much a one way-ticket, one with no returns.

And suddenly, so many voices come in.

Family dinners become an event you look forward to, but dread at the same time, because you are pushed to think about something you are super confused about.

ECG talks become so much more personal.

Advises you hear seem to point you in the right direction, but the path remains a blur.

I'm sure that I'm not the only person facing this now, but whatever the case, the most important thing now is to do well for your Os, and give yourself choices, instead of letting your course choose you.

I may be feeling confused but I always believe that it helps to talk to someone. If you feel that you can talk to me, feel free to comment below, or DM me at justagalstudies on Instagram.

Hang in there guys!💪💪💪