Totally missing you again

Hi readers, it's my cousin's birthday today. We went to 'celebrate' it with her just now. It was painful, knowing that she has left us for almost a year. It hurts, knowing that this is the only way I can communicate with her is through my blog, through my heart. I will never get to have a proper conversation with her... Below is my wish for her.

Hey my dear Emily, how are you?

We haven't seen each other in almost a year. I remember that just a year ago, besides preparing for PSLE, we were preparing for your birthday party at Aranda Country Club, near East Cost Park. I edited a Minnie Mouse picture for your you. We sent the design to the bakery shop that has made all of my birthday cakes to make yours. Minnie Mouse was too hard for them after all. The result was a horrible looking Minnie Mouse that was way too skinny, remember? The year has been hard without you. It gets better everyday, but I still can't help but look up at the sky and imagine your pretty face smiling at me, cheering me to be brave and strong.

Running has never been easy, but thinking about you, how you endure those days in the hospital, I can't help but feel ashamed for thinking that running is hard. I am ashamed for not being as strong as you. I need strength from you. You are my role model. I could not imagine a world without you, now that I am thrown into this world, I don't have a choice. I have to adapt. It is not easy, yes, but I will try, and hope that one day, thinking about you will not be as painful as it is now. I guess it is not really painful, it's just that you left an aching in my heart that nobody will be able to replace. I think about you everyday, and everyday, I think about you, how you will look like if you are still with us. How will life be? I can't help feeling sad that you were not able to join us in flesh for the Taiwan trip. But I knew you went there with us, simply because you live in our hearts.

I think of you when I see kids. That's part of the reason why I won't give up volunteering in the near future. I see you in the liveliness of the kids. I see you, I imagine what you will be like if you were still with us. I shall continue to love you like I love nobody else. No one will replace your place in my heart. I love you, dear, so much that I can't bring myself to listen to The Fox. That will be your song, forever and always. I dedicate this song to you too. The name is< A Little Love>. Your mummy recommended it to me just this morning. Watch the video here!

         You are in my mind, every day, every hour, every minute, every second...

             Love,
                      JiaYi Jie Jie

Okayy readers, this will be it for the day.

Peacing out,
~jessykeejiayi><